


I Made You a Promise

by commandmetobewell



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Major Character Injury, previously uploaded on ff.net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3958303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandmetobewell/pseuds/commandmetobewell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lara made a promise to Sam to bring her home. When she finally saves Sam on the mountaintop, will she be able to keep it or will her injuries overcome her once and for all? A one-shot loosely based off the ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Made You a Promise

There's a shrill ringing noise that erupts in your ears, and for a moment your chest aches. Your head hits the ground and you feel cold. Then, there's a scream, and you recognize that sound anywhere. You try to open your eyes to call out to her, but your voice gets caught in your throat.

Lara.

You can still hear her screaming and you can't tell if she's okay or if she's dying. You remember the helicopter crash, the bear trap, the monastery. You remember her face as you were tied up on the makeshift crucifix forged by Mathias. You remember each blow she took from those retched and evil men. Through every punch and kick, she spoke to you as calmly as she could.

" _Sam_ ," you can almost hear her voice as it called out to you. " _Sam look at me. You'll be okay_."

You want to believe it, but the memory has taken you away. You realize that the screaming has stopped and has instead been replaced by a sobbing cry. Lara's still there, but you don't know her condition. For a moment, you wonder if you're dead yourself, and what you're hearing is something of transcendence. Maybe you're just hearing her as you pass into whatever realm you go to after you die. In light of it all, you chuckle, but the sound comes out distorted. You've never been religious, and suddenly Himiko's face is burned into the back of your eyes.

With the last remaining spark of energy, you blink them open.

Your vision is clouded, but you can see Lara's body shift towards you. From the rain spilling over behind her, you barely pinpoint the endless scars and rivets that line her skin like a treasure map. Trails of red, blue, and black cover those scores, some fresh and some old. For a moment it's like that day in college when you accidentally sat on your bag and caused your pens to leak. Lara laughed for a solid minute when you walked in with a discoloured rump and a scowl on your face. Except this time, its not on you but on her skin, and this time, Lara's not laughing.

She's crying.

The last time you'd seen Lara cry was at the crash site.  _God_ , you think suddenly,  _Roth_. For a moment, you let out a stifled whimper, and in return, you hear a muted grunt from Lara. You blink open your eyes and stare at her as she adjusts her arms, hooking them under your neck and the small of your back, as if you're a child again. You can't help yourself as you nuzzle into the crook of her elbow, caked with dried sweat and grime. She reeks of rotted flesh and death, but still, amongst the musky scent, you smell that familiar cinnamon scented shampoo.

You're hallucinating, you conclude with a inward scoff. You've been trapped on this damned island for more than a month, and in that time, Lara has probably killed more people than you've ever known. There's no way she still smells like that shampoo. But, despite it all, you forget the impossibilities and instead just let it be. This is Lara, your Lara, and she's holding you. You hear her breathing, a damned ragged breath. She's hurt and you seethe at Mathias, at the Solarii, at Himiko. Your head lolls against her chest and you can feel something wet soak the side of your face. You know it's blood before you smell it, but you don't cringe away.

"Sam…," she chokes out. God, her voice is so broken, so wounded.

"Sam," she repeats in a gasp, "oh Sam, thank God."

"Urgh… wha?" Is all you can manage. You're still stumped on her voice, her face, her wounds. You've always been so caught up with her, but this time, it's different.

"Lara…," you trail off as you squint at her, "what's happening?" Lara's shoulders tremble slightly as she strokes your arm with a feathery graze.

The touch is so soft.

It's a barely there, 'I'm not leaving' kind of soft.

"Ssh," she whispers, her voice cracking, "ssh, I'm here."

You want to hold her, but she's holding you. Her body leans over yours and she closes her eyes as she holds back the urge to sob. Your head vibrates when her chest sinks in a painful breath. You want to say something, something to calm her, to assure her you're okay, even though you know that you're not. You're seeing her as something you've never seen before. Vulnerable.

"You're safe now," she murmurs, opening her eyes to look at your chin. She can't make eye contact and it's killing the both of you. "It's okay… it's okay." You sneak a choked gasp between the words as Lara says them to you. Somehow, you manage to brush her arm with your fingers.

"You saved me," you mumble, your eyes only meeting her eyelids, "I knew you would."

Finally, Lara looks at you, taking a deep breath to strongly say, "I made you a promise."

The words cause your chest to contract as you watch her gaze. Her eyes are dark, and you know that they've seen more than they should have in her lifetime. Your heart aches for her, because her innocence, the sheer essence of what made Lara, Lara, is gone. Not disappeared, but stolen. Lara climbed across mountains, fell out of helicopters, killed for you. God, she  _killed_  for you. But here she is, uttering the words the both of you didn't know you needed to hear.

 _I made you a promise_.

You go to reply, but the light is what stops you. The sun, God, you've never felt so warm in your entire life. Lara's body goes rigid for a moment before she cocks her head and looks up to the sky. The both of you close your eyes as the warmth bathes you in comfort. Lara's grip tightens around you, and there's a splash of liquid on your cheeks. You know it's not rain, but her. You graze her arm again, your eyes tracing a dark bruise near the murky bandage upon grimy skin.

"Let's get you home," Lara says after sometime.

You've come to understand that home is something that you've only seen in your dreams. Your entire being is tired from exhaustion, possession, and home seems so far away, but then again, it's also so close. You realize, as you look to see Lara smiling, _actually smiling_ , down at you, that your home has been, and always will be with her. You both stare at each other for a solid minute, eyes acting as translators for the heart, flashing out words your mouthes can't speak. It's understood, in that brief moment, that all this time you've spent dancing around each other all lead up to this. Lara bites her lip and you shudder. She's hesitant, but you both know what you want. What you so desperately need. What you've  _always_  needed.

"Lara," you whisper, and she takes a breath, her chest thundering against your face. She shifts slightly, but still remains frozen, unsure of what to do. Still, your eyes remain locked. You can see her asking you, wanting you to tell her which way to go. For the first time, you lead.

In the end, all it takes is a subtle nod.

Her lips, God, you've never kissed someone who made you feel so… raw, stripped down, bare. But it's the juxtaposition of it all that takes you by surprise. Her lips are soft and gentle, but the kiss is powerful and meaningful. Years of silence suddenly explodes into a cacophony of sound, a symphony greater than Mahler, Mozart, or Beethoven themselves. You feel her breath hitch as you lick over her bottom lip, needing more. She parts her mouth and you cry out as you taste her. You taste her, and you realize that all those boys and girls from before have left you  _starving_. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you're scolding yourself for not figuring it out sooner.

She's your best friend, your lover, your soul mate.

She's your  _everything_.

"Lara," you breathe shallowly into her mouth as she begins to pant. You've almost forgotten about her injuries, but she has. Somehow, the kiss has given her strength because she hoists you into her arms. You almost want to chide her for acting like the perfect knight in shining armour that she is, but you feel drowsiness wash over you in waves and oddly enough, the warm sun isn't helping. Lara cradles you closer, pecking your forehead in a tender kiss before standing.

You want to protest against her carrying you down this mountain, especially since you can see the state she's in. It doesn't matter what adrenalin high she's running off of, she's still injured. You begin to cry softly against her collarbones, ducking your head into the nape of her neck. You keep feeling your eyelids grow heavier, but you want to stay awake. Lara is mumbling sweet nothings into your ear, and you want to return the favour but you can't.

You can't, and it hurts.

Somewhere across the time you spend drifting in and out of consciousness, you hear the unmistakable hum of Jonah's voice sound out. Lara's breathing is quicker now, her arms trembling from underneath your back. You want to tell her to stop, to put you down and rest, but you've become a mute. Maybe that's a side effect from being kissed by a Croft. You begin to weep once more, trying to get her attention. She needs to stop. Doesn't she know she's safe?

Suddenly, you feel your body being lifted from Lara's gentle grasp. You don't need to feel his wide embrace to know its Jonah. You hear Lara grunt in the background, something about you being okay, before you hear a woman gasp. Reyes? You try to open your eyes, but you're just so tired. Jonah's voice is worried too, but you can't hear what he's saying. The only thing that rings clear is your name. You feel the tension ricocheting between them as they speak in hurried voices. You want to know what's going on but you can barely breathe. Your lips tremble as tears drip down your eyes, collecting in the hair behind your ears as you try to call out for her.

"Lara," you choke out, your throat dry and burning.

 _Lara_ , you think as darkness finally consumes you,  _I love you_.

/

The next time you open your eyes, you find your body rocking. You're in a small boat, and you can make out the broad frame of Jonah sitting hunched over something, and Reyes at the helm. You mumble out something incoherent, but it's loud enough for Reyes' head to snap around to look at you. For a moment, concern flashes across her face as she leaves the wheel for you.

"Jesus, Sam," she tries to scold, but her voice sounds… maternal. It's so unlike Reyes that it scares you. You struggle to sit up, but thankfully she helps you out, bringing you a canteen of water. You take gentle sips, remembering what Lara had once told you about water boarding. The thought immediately causes you to stop, and the heat drains from your face.

Lara.

"She's sleeping," Reyes answers for you and you go to ask her a question, but you realize that she's not looking at you, but at the floor of the crusty old boat. You set the canteen down with quivering fingers, your eyes burning with tears that won't come because your ducts are dry.

Reyes sucks in a deep breath and cocks her head to where Jonah is still sitting, hunched over. You peer through a squinted gaze only to realize that he's watching over her. Lara's feet poke out from behind Jonah's wide frame. You go to get up, but Reyes holds you down. You want to fight her, but the minute you lock gazes, the breath is sucked from your lungs. Reyes, the stoic and bold, adamant and strong Reyes, looks  _crushed_.

"No," you growl through the scratching in your throat. Reyes sighs as she hangs her head.

"We don't have medicine, Sam," she whispers brokenly, "it's all caught up to her."

The words break your heart as you push Reyes' hand off your shoulder. You stand up, ignoring the stars that creep up at the corners of your eyes. Your legs feel like Jello but you don't care. You need to see her. You need to be there for her, to save her as she had saved you. Jonah hears you and turns, his face crestfallen and grim. You only match his gaze for a moment before you break it to cast it over his shoulder and to the limp body he had been covering.

When you see her, you know he hadn't been shielding her from you, but holding a vigil.

"Lara," her name is broken upon your lips as you skirt around Jonah with unintelligible grace. You kneel beside her ashen face, and for the first time since you've met, you see something on her face that you've only dreamed of seeing.

Peace.

When you put a hand to her skin, you nearly jump at the heat. Something in your heart breaks for her. You scramble closer, as close as you can get in the short vicinity. Jonah has backed off. You can hear him whispering to Reyes. You block them out and focus on Lara instead. You put your hand back to her clammy forehead and stroke her crown with the gentlest of touches. Your fingers are shaking and your palms are sweaty, but you don't pull away.

"You made me a promise," you whisper softly as you lean in and kiss her lips softly. You wait for her to respond but you're not stupid. You retract slowly, painfully, remorsefully until you can see her face again. For a second you feel her brows crease, but you know that it's her muscles loosening. Her breathing is shallow and slow, as if she were falling into a deep slumber.

"There!" Reyes' excited voice snaps from behind you. Your head jerks up to gaze into the rising sun of the horizon. You can faintly make out a shadow in the distance, riding on the water. Reyes is talking into a radio. Jonah has taken the helm. You realize that it's a ship.

You should be excited, overjoyed that you've finally found salvation, but your gaze filters back to Lara. Your best friend's chest rises softly. You feel the urge to crack open her chest and take away all that pain. You grimace when your eyes flicker over the gaping hole in her stomach. Red flesh surrounded by blackened bruises and greenish pus. You want to gag, but you fight the urge as you run your free hand near the wound. It's so hot, you almost believe your fingers will burn off, but you lock away your fear for her sake. You feel the ridges of her ribs, some of them sticking out in places that they shouldn't be in. You gasp as you feel the dampness of her camisole from blood and sweat.  _God Lara_ , you hiss in your mind,  _you just_ had _to come for me_.

Your internal scolding must've stirred something in her, because Lara's eyes flicker open. You go to reach for her hand and grip it tightly, tears streaming down your face in joy. But surely enough, the happiness is fleeting and you're left feeling empty because Lara's gaze is glossy. She's not here. You've seen eyes like those before, in the Russian man that had attempted to take you in that stank prison cell. You remember that glazed expression as he laid bleeding out before you, with Mathias spear jammed into his back. You can't shake the memory of him.

"Sam," Lara chokes out softly, bringing you back. She always brings you back.

"Lara, sweetie," you respond immediately, but your voice is broken by pain and fear. Lara's looking at you, but in the same time she's  _not_  looking at you. Her fever is rising beneath your palm as her body begins to shake. You don't want to believe it, but you know Reyes is right.

"S-Sam," she whispers faintly, a cracked smile painting her chapped lips. You shake your head as you kneel over here, blocking her view of anything but you. You realize that this is the mountain all over again, but your positions are switched. She smiles at you, a goofy lopsided grin that screams Lara Croft. You can't help but smile back as you feel her hand squeezing yours gently.

"M-My S-Sam," she struggles to say, her voice hoarse and gurgling. Something's stuck in her throat as she coughs, spluttering. You look over your shoulder to Reyes and Jonah, but they're busy trying to communicate with the ship to notice you. You go to scream at them, but Lara's hand squeezing yours again brings you back to your wounded best friend.

"B-Beautiful Sam," Lara grins weakly as she mumbles the words, her eyes glazing over with fever and pain. Somewhere in the inferno, you make out her love for you. It breaks your heart but mends it all the same. You grip her hand tighter and swallow the lump in your throat.

"Lara, come on," you urge, your voice quivering as you look to the ship creeping up in the distance, "come on, look, there's the ship. We're being rescued, Lara. We're going home."

Lara doesn't speak, nor does she move to follow your gaze. You look back down to see that she's staring at you with a soft smile, one filled with adoration and compassion. You watch as she forces her unoccupied arm to lift. Her palm cradles your cheek as she smiles again, tears tugging at the corners of her eyes. Her lips are trembling and her throat is raw but still, she speaks.

"I love you."

The tone of her voice is what gets you, like an arrow to the gut. You gaze down to her wound in reflex as your mind makes the connection that what you're feeling is the emotional equivalent to what had happened to her. Lara's telling you more in those three words than she's ever told you in her entire life. You want to fight against the meaning behind it, but you know that even her body has its limits. Tears rush down your cheeks as you see her visibly struggling to speak again.

"Ssh," you whisper as you lean your head down so that your foreheads touch, "ssh, I'm here."

You hear a horn bellow through the air. The ship is getting closer.

"Lara," you breathe out as you hear the systematic hum of engines approaching, "Lara, just hang in there for a few more minutes, okay? Help is here. Lara, help is here!"

"S-Sam," Lara growls through the agony. Her voice is terrible and scratchy, but to you it sounds like a calm riverbed as she looks to you with a knowing gaze.

"I…, you…," she stumbles on her words, delirious from the fever but still somewhat coherent. You shake your head as the tears come faster now.

"Lara, come on, you're gonna be fine. We're getting out of here," you urge to calm her down, to prevent her to say what you know she wants to say. Lara ignores you, though.

"You," she breathes softly, the pain erased by love, "it's always been you, Sam." You shake your head, and you know that this is it. The ship's coming closer but she's slipping farther away.

"I… I k-kept my p-promise," Lara sounds distant, but proud. You look into her eyes to see the glossy expression nearly gone, replaced by a gut-wrenching clarity. You open your mouth to say something, but it hits you like a bullet to the chest from her expression. Her hand feels heavier, and she's making less of an effort to hold onto you. It terrifies you because Lara only ever holds on. Her face is growing more lax, her breathing slowing in the telltale sign of mortal relief.

"Not yet," you manage to croak out, shaking your head fervently. "Not yet, Lara. You promised to take me home, and when we go home, you better know that I'm going to take you on so many dates. I'm gonna do all the weird shit you like with you and we're going to move back into your crummy apartment that smells like eggs and wet socks. We're going to go exploring and kiss each other when we're rock climbing. You're going to ramble on about your readings while I curl my arms around your waist and distract you. We have years of making up and out to do, Lara."

"Sam," she mumbles gently, her voice softer now. You think about the life you have missed out on by falling oblivious to your feelings for each other. Her lips are curled into a faint smirk.

"I couldn't help if you're so hard to read," she tries to joke, but she coughs. You press closer to her, aware that you're now being watched by Jonah and Reyes. You feel their stares burning into your spine but you block them out again. You don't care what they think. You care about Lara.

You're in love with Lara.

"Me?" You try to scorn her, but your words are pained. "Your damned archeology books are easier than reading than you, Lara Croft." Lara smiles at the fake scowl you issue her. She blinks slowly as her grip weakens again, her breaths becoming more spaced apart with each intake. Your chest tightens alongside hers, your air becoming scarce as you feel it approaching.

"Lara," you say seriously as you see her smile drooping, "Lara, you have to stay with me."

"I kept my promise," she repeats softly, her eyes closing. A heart-wrenching shriek pierces from your lips as you curl your body over hers. You have nothing else that you can do but watch as she slips away slowly. You see the life you want with her slowly fading from sight. You need to do something. You have to bring her back. You can't let her go, not yet.

You surge forward and wrap your lips around hers in a fierce kiss. It's a kiss that tells her everything. It's more powerful than the first because you know what is at stake. You pray, as you slip your tongue to jostle with her own in her warm mouth, that she can feel how much she means to you. You kiss her harder when you feel her shake. You want to fill her with that same strength she had when she had carried you down that hill. You feel her seeping into your bones. You feel complete as you mesh your lips together roughly. Lara lets a soft moan slip through, but it sounds like gunshot in your ears. You whisper her name between gentler kisses like a mantra. Your tears are meshing, and before either of you know it, you're both sobbing into each other.

"I love you," you breathe into her lips, your voice clear and strong for the first time that day, "I love you more than you'll ever know, Lara. You… you can't leave me."

Silence.

You don't feel her warm breath against your lips.

You don't feel the hammering of her heart against your chest.

You don't feel  _anything_.

"Sam." It's Jonah. Lara doesn't stir beneath you, and you cannot bring yourself to open your eyes. You feel a thick hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. You remain quiet. You're still trapped in that moment. You're still trapped with her. You don't want to leave. You love her.

"Sam," Jonah's voice is a quiet hum. It causes you to clench your jaw and grit your teeth. His hand feels like a blade and the truth cuts deep. You can't open your eyes. You're not ready.

"I… I can't," you say with a stutter. You sound so raw, so hurt. In the background you can hear Reyes speaking with another man. They must have reached the ship. You curse,  _too late_.

Defeated, you commit to the inevitable.

Your gaze meets her pale face. You remain frozen as you stare at her with vision blurred by tears. You try to swallow but your throat is dry. Lara's eyes are closed loosely, her mouth parted slightly. You feel your heart speed up as anxiety washes over you, depression and bereavement nipping at its heels. You reach up, cupping her jaw in your hand. Her fever is gone, replaced by ice. You choke out between sobs as you clutch her body closer to your own. You repeat her name in a whisper until it grows into a shout. You feel Jonah's other hand on your remaining shoulder but you struggle against him. You scream for her, but she doesn't wake for you.

Jonah rips you away and presses your small body against his frame, his arms threatening to swallow you whole.  _Good_ , you think,  _I want to follow where she goes_. Your stare is glued to Lara as you watch a man and Reyes approach her. They're speaking in low voices; or maybe they're speaking in regular volume - you wouldn't know because you're still screaming. It takes a moment before the man leans over and picks her up like she's weightless. Her body slumps and you know it's not normal. You let out one last agonizing wail as you watch her head loll sickeningly in his arms. You try to rip yourself from Jonah's strong arms but it's useless. Reyes turns away and walks over to you briskly, concern lacing her deep brown eyes. You remember how she treated Lara at the beach camp and shake your head, growling like a feral animal defending itself. Reyes looks sad,  _regretful_  in fact, but you don't care.

"Sam," she says sternly, though her voice still wavers, "they've got a chopper. They'll try their best, but you have to just hold on, okay? Screaming won't save her."

"I love her!" You scream anyways. It's all you've been screaming, actually. Reyes nods, halting your delirious and wild behaviour for a moment. You watch as she points to a small boat in which Lara rests, carefully being inspected by two nurses and the man from before.

"There's room for one more," Reyes explains in a low voice, "but you can't scream." That shuts you up, and before long you're nodding furiously. Jonah lets you go as you fly past Reyes to the boat. Before you get in, Reyes calls out for you, her voice distant and solemn.

"Bring her back, Sam," Reyes tells you softly, "bring her back just like she did with you."

After a brief second of silence, you nod and hop into the boat. You take up a seat beside Lara's limp body, trying to ignore the others that poke needles into her skin and tear at her clothing in attempts to getting better access at her wounds. You watch blankly as one of the nurses locks her fingers together and pushes down on her chest. You can't tear your eyes away from the sight, knowing that someone is trying to restart a heart that has stopped beating. You blink twice before you watch the nurse reach for her jaw and tilts it back. Jealously runs through you for half a second as you watch the woman administer two puffs of air to her lips, lips that you had been kissing. Turning away from the sight, you instead reach for her hand and no one fights you. You close your eyes and envision Lara's smile, her laughter, the sound of your name on her lips.

Her lips… that kiss.

Goddammit, you refuse it to be the last.

/

Eighteen hours.

That's how long you've been waiting in the sterile white hallway. Doctors have said that her heart has stopped four times. Then, a few hours later, organ failure. You've got an IV stripped in your arm and bandages around your chaffed ankles, but you feel unscathed in comparison to her. You haven't moved from your spot. Reyes and Jonah showed up at one point, but you can't remember. You have barely moved, bare from using the restroom and looking for the doctors.

Finally, you see the familiar white lab coat of Doctor… Markham? Mendara? Malik? You can't remember. You don't care. You just want Lara to be okay. He looks solemn as he strides towards you. Lara once told you something about body language when she had to take a psychology course in her early freshman years. You sit up straighter and try to read him as he walks towards you.  _Shoulders slumped and arms loose at the sides_ , you think pensively,  _a sign of submission_?

You shake your head as he stops a few feet from you.

"Please," you croak softly, not looking up to meet his gaze, "please tell me she's okay."

There's a few moments of silence in which neither of you talk.

" _Please_ ," you whisper, mainly to yourself as you hang your head.

"We've done all we could," he says gently, but you remember Lara saying something about tone.  _Dammit_ , you think as you grit your teeth,  _why can't you get out of my head for a minute_? You continue to stare at the floor, your tongue flicking over your cracked lips. You taste blood.

You taste  _her_.

"Is she…," you can't even finish the question before your voice trails off. There's a sigh. You don't have to look up to know that he's not looking at you.

"We don't know, ma'am."

How could they not know? You want to scream it at him.  _You're a doctor for God's sake_ , you internally scold,  _you're_ supposed _to be able to tell me things like this_! Instead of voicing your thoughts, you nod softly, before taking a sharp breath that stings at your chest. There's more silence, uncomfortable and heavy. You sigh again, hanging your head and closing your eyes.

"Can I see her?"

"She's weak, we are-"

"Can I see her?!" Your voice is more demanding as you cut him off. It's less of a shout and more of a shrill snarl, but you get the point across as you jerk your head up meet his gaze. The doctor snaps his jaw shut at your expression. Frustration and hopelessness emits off of you in waves. You clench your jaw tightly and grip the metal of your IV pole firmly. When you see him looking to the nurse, you relax your haunches and lower your head a bit.

"Please," you whisper again, less aggressively. The doctor leans his weight from one foot to the other before he glances at his clipboard. You watch his brows crease as he sighs heavily.

"Follow me."

You stumble after him, tugging your pole with you. The baggie swishes and the sound reminds you of a waterbed you once bought for yourself during your second year. You remember Lara's expression as you pointed to it with a smirk on your face. She had called you incorrigible as she looked at the thing (which only stuck around for a few weeks anyways - turns out sex and waterbeds aren't the best match) with feigned disapproval. You fight the urge to cry at the memory. You don't want all that remains of her to be a memory. You don't have enough of her for that.

After what seems like three miles, the doctor leads you to a door. You realize as you tense up, that she's behind this door. The love of your life waits for you behind his piece of metal and wood. Your breath catches in your throat and the doctor looks concerned. You shake your head at him and point to the door, swallowing as you tell him to open it. He does it slowly, as if to drag on the agony and anxiousness swimming like sharks in the pit of your gut.

When you see her, you fall apart.

She looks like she's sleeping, if you count out all the machines and tubes attached to her. You stumble over to her and immediate plop down on the chair beside her bed. Your hand reaches for hers as you choke back sobs at the sight of her mangled body. You watch the waves on the monitor rise up and down in characteristic motion. You almost feel happy, but then you remember that she's not doing that. A machine's doing that. You don't even know if she's still here. The doctor remains quiet as he turns and leaves you alone, closing the door softly behind him.

"Lara," you say gently as you reach for her hand again. You give her your best smile, fighting the pull of it to crack. She has been so strong for you. You know it's time to carry her through.

"I'm here, Lara," you murmur gently as you lean down and carefully place a kiss upon her forehead. "I'm here and I'm not leaving, sweetie. I'm here." You half expect, in complete delusional hope, that she'll wake up like she did on the boat, but you know better than to kid yourself. Instead, you inch closer to her, squeezing her hand gently.

"Wake up," you breathe softly, "wake up and come back to me, my love."

/

It's been two days.

She still hasn't woken up.

You don't leave her side. The nurses are getting tired of you. So is the doctor, but none of them ask you to part ways. You have basically moved into her room. One of the nicer nurses wheeled in a spare bed for you to sleep after you refused to move from the chair. Your back aches from the pain, but you see Lara and it all goes away. Reyes and Jonah come by with clothes and food. You barely scarf down half a sandwich. Jonah hugs you and murmurs a few 'get well soon's to a sleeping Lara. Reyes stays quiet, but you can see the pain in her eyes as she looks to Lara.

Apparently, Lara is a stifler on hope.

Her lawyer came in last night and informed you of her will. He looked like Roth. For a moment, as he'd spoken, you thought maybe they'd been related. When looking at her will, you had cringed, but you knew Lara better than anyone did; the will didn't shy of her personality. Five days from now, if Lara doesn't wake up, she'll be lost forever. That is, if she isn't already lost. You can't afford to think like that though. She means too much for you to think like that.

You look at her now, just wishing that she would at least blink open her eyes and look at you. You wait for her lips to curl into that warm smile, for her hand to squeeze yours. You wait for her tell you how much she loves you. You wait for her to reach for the back of your neck with palm and reel you in for a dramatic, romantic kiss. And you will wait, until the end of that fifth day, because deep down, you know that she can't be gone. She's Lara  _freaking_  Croft. She didn't go through all that pain on Yamatai just for her to die in a crap hospital from her wounds.

"You're gonna have some killer battle scars," you whisper as you place your palm lightly over her torso. You feel the padding of the bandage beneath her paper-thin gown and you grimace. You shake away the foul memories of how they came to be and turn back to her face, obstructed by the ugly and space-taking mask encompassing her lips, breathing life into her.

"You've always been a great story teller, Lara," you mumble with a faint chuckle. You shake your head and sigh as you close your eyes. You're so tired, but still you croak out, "I wonder how many guys will swoon over you when you tell them that you defeated a possessed demigod and a delirious man with an army of militaristic Russians on an island in the middle of nowhere."

You bite your lip as you feel tears coming again. You turn back to face Lara.

"But no one swoons harder than I," you hum gently, "and I'm waiting for your stories, Croft."

/

The third day is quiet.

Your parents fly in and offer to take you home, but you refuse. When they see you holding Lara's hand, the dynamic shifts suddenly. They understand and it's a shock to them. You barely hear the slew of whispered disapprovals. The words scratch at your barriers but don't break the surface. You begin to wonder if they can even see her, feel how far away she is, or what she means to you. They don't seem to accept it, your pain. You don't care about them, though.

They're gone in a few hours and you don't even say goodbye.

/

The fourth day, her liver fails.

You have to be taken out of the room, watching through the smudged glass as they do what they have to in order to bring her back from the brink of death. Somehow, she comes back, and her organs stabilize again. Hope swells in your chest. She's still fighting. When the doctor comes out of the room, you both share a pitiful glance. Your heart shatters but you refuse to glance at the broken shards. Not yet, you won't give up.

You still have tomorrow.

 _Lara_ , you think as you reach again for her pale hand,  _you still have tomorrow_.

/

Jonah and Reyes are back.

They don't say much, though. You don't need to be reminded what day it is. The lawyer is expected to come in late evening. You have taken up fort in Lara's room. Reyes lingers in the back of the room, her fingers tracing patterns on the various dents in the walls from previous patients. Jonah is sitting on the opposite side of Lara, her other hand loosely clasped in his. You feel Alex and Grim and Roth somewhere here too. Maybe the lack of sleep and food has gotten to you, but you swear that you can feel them in here. Everyone, the whole gang, is here for Lara.

"I'm sorry." It's Reyes who speaks, breaking the tranquility in the room. Your head slowly cocks up at her soft voice. Reyes nods, clearing her throat as she timidly inches towards Lara.

"I'm sorry I blamed her for Roth's death," she whispers, looking to Lara with tears in her eyes. Even Jonah has turned his attention to the stout woman as she sits next to him with shoulders slumped with defeat. You bite your lip and grip Lara's hand tighter to your own.

"Roth," she starts, a cry caught in her throat. She stops, takes a breath, and starts again. "Roth would have been damned proud of you, girl." You nod silently, looking back at Lara.

"You did the impossible, Lara," Reyes continues to say, "you brought us home. You brought me back to my daughter. Though you didn't save all of us, you still saved  _us_." You watch with a heavy heart as Reyes stands, leans over Lara, and kisses her cheek before hanging her head.

"Come on back, girl," she whispers under her breath, "you've got a lot of yelling at me to do." You chuckle softly, even though it's pained. Jonah nods as well, turning away from their moment. You squeeze Lara's hand again and look at her with disdain.

"Little bird," Jonah mumbles gently as Reyes pulls away, "you've only started your journey. Your cannot end it so quickly. Don't let it bring you under, Lara. You have still so much path you've got to cover. So many more adventures are awaiting you. Don't give up, little bird, don't give up." Your breath hitches as you watch him turn to her and sigh, bowing his head slightly.

"You can't give up on me, on Josilin, Alex, Grim, …  _Roth_ ," he pauses for a moment to look at you with eyes brimming with tears, "You can't give up on Samantha. I've known it long before either of you realized it, but you love each other. That is something beautiful, little bird, and it's something that you deserve rightly so. You can't give up on us just yet, Lara."

You don't want to accept it until they leave that they came to say their last goodbyes. You can feel Roth and the others still in the room, silent like watchful guardians. Your thoughts grow dark for a brief second as you wonder if they're here to get her, to bring her to wherever they are now. You shake it off as quick as it comes. The room feels empty again. You look around, almost expecting to see those who'd been lost on Yamatai, but room is empty bare for her and you. Sighing, you turn back to her, watching her sleep. You spend an hour in that blissful peace, simply clutching her hand. Finally, you've had enough of staying in silence, and as much time as you've spent fighting it, you'd never let yourself live if you didn't say goodbye properly. You quiver as you haul your body next to her on the bed, not caring that half of you is precariously hanging off the edge. You need to be as close to her as you can.

"You've been with me since the start of it all," you begin to say, your hand still clutching hers as if it were a lifeline. You take a shuddering breath and nod softly, willing yourself to continue.

"You've never left me before, Lara," you say quietly, your words just a hare about a whisper. "Through the college years, it was always you that came to my rescue. Whether it be bashing heads in the bar to keep boys off me to carrying me home when I was too drunk to even stand, you've always stayed as a constant. Everyone else came and went, but you stuck around."

"I don't really understand it, though," you scoff gently, "I was only ever a burden on you. Hell, I was the one that got you into this mess. I called the expedition because I thought it would be a good film opportunity."

"Besides," you chuckle gently, "it was always fun to see you cream your panties over the potential to get on an archaeological dig like Yamatai."

"But you found it," you say, your voice growing quieter as you look back at her face, "and by doing so, you found me, Lara. I mean… you'd always been there, but never had you been…  _there_. I… I want you there, Lara. I want you there so much I can barely breathe."

You're crying now.

"Lara," you plead with her unconscious form, "please just come back. I have so much I need to tell you. I have so much I need to show you. I have so much of my life to live with you."

"Please," you whisper again as your sobs wrack your frame, "just for a moment, come back."

A knock on the door interrupts you.

Wiping your tears on your sweater's cuff, you turn around to see the face of the lawyer - a man in a sharp black suit and skinny black tie - standing beside the ashen-faced doctor. You don't look at the man at the white coat, but the Roth look-alike. His eyes are dark and his face angled, bare of any emotion. There's a leather briefcase firmly grasped in his hand and you know why he is here. You don't need to ask questions. For some reason, you don't move to shove him away. You don't scream profanities at him like you did the first time you'd met him. You simply look at each other, and finally, you understand. You look back to Lara and feel your heart break again.

"I'm selfish," you admit with a soft murmur, "for pleading you to come back. After all you've been through, Lara. I… I can't ask anything more of you." The words are coming out of your mouth faster than you are thinking them, but you know that they are the truth. You bite back your tears and fight through your sobs in order for you to place a palm upon her forehead. You close your eyes and hang your head as you press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"You kept your promise, Lara," you submit remorsefully, the words leaving your lips in choked, muffled cries. "You… you deserve your rest, sweetheart. I won't hold you back anymore."

The man clears his throat gently.

After awhile, you nod slightly, acquiescing to his request.

Before you get off the bed to allow the man and the doctor to enter the room, you look back at Lara, your best friend and lost lover, and hang your head. Your breath comes out in ragged blows, softly flicking the hair at Lara's face from her jaw. You kiss her chin, her jaw, her forehead. For a moment, you are tempted to remove the mask to kiss her lips, but you know that would be thing that would shatter you completely, even if you're still so broken. Something is holding you together, and you don't know what it is. You stare into her closed eyes and sigh deeply. Your shaking palm steadies to cup her cheek as you suck in a sharp breath.

"I'll always love you, sweetie," you say with love and bittersweet happiness filling your voice. You hang your head and allow your hand to drop, thudding silently against the bedsheets.

"I…," you choke, "I'm just sorry I was so late to realize it." You look at her once last time, trying to study her features as you manage to crawl off the bed. Your other hand is still clutching at her hand, and even though everything in you screams to not let go, you untangle your fingers.

"Goodbye, Lara," you whisper as you back away.

It happens slowly after that. The lawyer sits on the chair in the corner of the room, a paper folder strewn across his lap. He watches the doctor as he reaches for the switch on Lara's ventilator. The nurses allow you to stay. You think it's the least you can do, no matter what pain it causes you. You just remind yourself that whatever agony you feel right now is but a shard in comparison to the pain Lara had faced on that retched island. All of that pain, all for you.

At first, her heart continues the beating and you're hopeful that this entire time she's been under, she's managed to fight your way to the top. You shift from foot to foot anxiously as you pray hard for a miracle. But, even the great Lara Croft can't cheat death. The beeping slows gradually. Everyone in the room is so calm, so quiet, you feel like you're dreaming. You stare at Lara as the beeping comes to a stop and instead, the machine lets out a long, even tone. You begin to shake and cry again as you watch her chest stop rising and falling. The doctor hears the strangled noises coming from you and spares you the pain by shutting the noise off.

"Lara," you choke out, fighting the urge to just climb on top of her and shake her until she wakes up again. The doctor doesn't move either, simply staring down at her. He waits a moment before he places two fingers to her slender neck and staring at his watch. The monitor still shows a flat line, and soon enough, the doctor pulls his hand away, solemn faced.

You thought you were ready, but you're not.

You run forward and launch yourself upon her bed, but no one restrains you. You pound your fists into her chest and sob, screaming loudly for her to wake up. The doctor mumbles something to the lawyer, but you catch the words 'time of death' and 'the coroner will come up soon' leave his mouth. You're too busy beating the crap out of your dead friend. You don't stop as you let out a bloodcurdling wail.

Soon, your strength fails you and you collapse upon her chest. You've been in this position so many times before with her. Most of them happened after a nasty break-up with a college fling. You always find yourself in her arms. You've never felt safe in anyone else's, not even your parents. She's held you through your worst nightmares, your best dreams, your loneliest nights. You've never been anywhere without her by your side, and when you try to think back of your life without her in it, you can't remember any fond memories. Lara represents all the good in your life, and you're not ready to let that go. You're not ready to let her go.

You sob into her neck, your legs curling over her waist to straddle her. You press your hands into the thin material of her scrubs. You close your eyes, your cries shaking both your bodies. You clench the material tighter between your fists as you suddenly jerk your eyes open. You cock your head up and look at her lips. You've done it before. You've got to try one last time.

You kiss her with everything in your body. You channel every moment, every decibel of sound that rung out from her beautiful laughter, every smile she'd ever given you. Your transfer all of your energy, your love, your life into her limp body, needing hopelessly for it to be enough. You clench her body so close to yours you aren't even sure which half is you and which is her. You hold onto her, trying to feel the warmth of her skin, the beating of her heart, the strength of her arms. You need to feel something other than the nagging grief tugging at your heartstrings.

Soon enough, you can't hold on and you're forced to let go of her lips. You collapse back on her chest and cry into her skin. You say her name over and over again like you did on the boat. You know that this is the last time your bodies will be in the same room. You want to scream at her and get mad for her passing, but you know that you will forever only blame yourself for her death. You'd take it all back if you could just hear her voice once more, to hear your name come from your lips one last time. You'd kill a dozen Solarii. You'd submit to Himiko.

All for Lara.

"Sam."

You stop your thrashing above her and still yourself. It was a quiet whisper, like the whistle of the wind in the forest. You're hearing her. You're officially going insane. You hang your head further into her neck as you shake your head. You want her close, but you want her out of your mind. You want her to just leave you with as little destruction as possible, but in the back of your head, you feel like you deserve it. You allow yourself to decompose in her arms, your sanity whipped out of the delicate bones of your skull. But then, you hear it again, a little louder now.

"Sam."

It's a low, strained rasp coated in pain, but it's undoubtedly her voice. You sit upright and blink away your tears. Your lips begin to purse in a snarl in order to scold her deceased body to stop calling out for her, but your heart stops when you look up and you're staring at her…  _eyes_.

They're half-lidded and exhausted, but her warm, hazel eyes are staring right at you.

"Sam," she repeats in a gasp, her voice hoarse and scratchy. You look, wide-eyed to the doctor and the lawyer in the corner, but they look just as shocked and surprised as you do. You turn back to Lara, looking at the monitor to see the rise and fall of the line in systematic waves.

"S-Sam," she wheezes as she looks painfully into your eyes, "you're s-sitting on my l-lungs."

You can't move. She's talking to you. Lara is talking to you.

"S-Sam," she chokes out again and you practically leap off of her and sit down on the chair instead. You grab for her hand and she squeezes,  _actually squeezes_  it back. You don't have words because you're so lost in her. You don't know if you've passed out or if you're hallucinating, but you take it because you need this. However messed up it may be, you need to see her, hear her, and feel her with you. You need her to reassure you that she's still here.

Then she does the strangest thing, she  _smiles_  at you.

"I… I… made a promise," she coughs out airily as she weakly fights back her own tears. You clutch at her hand and let loose a shuddering sob as Lara whispers, "I keep my promises, Sam."

It's those words that hit you.

Lara is  _alive_.

"You… you," you have so many things you want to say, but you can't find the words so you repeat your previous move, not caring about predictability.

Lara is ready this time as your lips come crashing down upon hers. You're kissing her passionately, sweetly, and she's kissing you back, her tender lips caressing yours. This time it's Lara who licks over your bottom lip and parts your mouth. She's in control. You feel her hand clutching yours with the same ferocity as you did when she was when she'd been under. You hear her heart beating in your throat as she deepens the kiss. This time, she's the one left giving you peppering kisses, with your name placed between each panting breath.

"Lara," you choke out finally, the tears streaming down your face. Lara sucks in a soft breath, wincing only slightly from exertion. You look at her and she looks back at you with nothing but love and adoration in her eyes. Her presence is real. She is real and she is alive.

"You… do you know how much pain you put me through?" You can help but scold her in a croak, but your voice carries undertones of relief and amiability. Lara's skin flushes as she hangs her head, and for a moment you feel bad, until she glances over at you with a sheepish smile.

"Let me make it up to you, Sam," she breathes gently, her voice gaining strength. You still feel hazy, but you watch as she struggles to lift her unoccupied arm. It's an efforts, but she finds the strength to cup your cheek. You turn your face inwards and kiss her open palm, your heart beating faster than it has ever done before.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming, Lara," you say back. Lara flinches as she frowns. Your shoulders tremble as you anticipate the moment you wake up. Suddenly, Lara's eyes flash as she moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your neck instead, tugging gently.

"Let me show you instead," she whispers. You hesitate for a moment, but then you give into her. She brings you in for a kiss, soft and tender, so unlike the ones you've shared before. When she gently tugs on your lip with her teeth, you feel a slight pinch. You close your eyes and lose yourself as her hand tangles in the baby hairs at the back of your neck.

"I love you," Lara whispers into your mouth, her eyes still closed. You crumble atop the bed at those words, wrapping your arms around your best friend's body in a vice grip.

"I love you, Lara," you say to her, fighting back tears. Lara's crying sounds in your ears and you allow your tears to flow, for once being sourced from happiness not grief.

"Don't dare leave me again, Lara Croft." Lara chuckles slightly before gasping. Her hand leaves your hair to grasp at her torso. You crawl off the bed and look at her with a worried glance.

You look to see the doctor still shocked, but once he sees Lara is alive and functioning, he breaks from his trance and steps toward her. You look over his shoulder to the lawyer, who has packed up his belongings and is standing at the door. He has no true facial expression as he looks to Lara and then back to you. He gives you a subtle nod before he leaves, the door clicking shut behind him. You take a breath as you turn back to Lara, now being questioned by the doctor. Nurses begin to file in one-by-one as they all hear of Lara's miraculous recovery from death itself.

You are asked to leave, but Lara chokes out for you to stay. The nurses, as annoyed as ever at your presence, try to convince her otherwise, but Lara looks at you, and you know that it's your turn to carry her through this. You take a seat beside her, out of the way of the nurses, your hand reaching for hers. Lara squeezes it gently before she smiles faintly. One of the nurses administers some painkillers into her IV tube as another draws blood. The oxygen mask is again placed over her face as she begins to fall back into slumber. You watch her fall asleep again with ease in your chest. Soon, the nurses and doctor finish their administrations and leave you both alone again. Your fingers are still wound around hers, and every so often, she squeezes your hand out of reflex.

"I'll be here, Lara," you say to her sleeping form, "I'll always be here."

Lara squeezes your hand, letting you know she's not going anywhere either.


End file.
